Valuing Yourself
Have you ever been scared?
Imagine being scared of yourself. That’s what it’s been like living in my head for the last twenty six years. The fear has been so large for so long, and I have been working like a slave driver on myself to feel better. I haven’t given any past version of myself any kind of credit. No one told me I was supposed to.
I was born at the beginning of the year in 2000. The end of those “90’s babies”, totally “Y2K”, and “rad dude”, thanks Amanda. Zoey 101, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Spongebob and Rugrats. That’s when all of this started. And I don’t mean just my life, I mean the rise and fall of exactly who we are as humans right now. Isn’t disgusting to see it in only one quarter of a lifetime? When is the last time you even thought about your Razor scooter or a pogo stick? That’s because they were quickly replaced with Pogo Games, the Razr cell phone, to AIM to Snapchat. Who even goes on Snapchat anymore?
That’s the kicker! I was eleven when Snapchat entered the chat. And guess what- every other eleven year old, whose parents didn’t pay enough attention, was on there too. I don’t throw any blame towards the general public here. Absolutely no one knew what was being created, a fucking monster, except the incels who created it. Now, fifteen years later I can see it plain as day. It’s a tool (weapon) for people “in power” to try and control you and tell you who you are. People are feeding these machines too. Does anyone else see that we are doing it to ourselves?
It has taken me the last eight to nine years to understand that this is why I can’t get my anxiety to go anywhere else. It’s this transitory period of waiting for everyone else to see they are the ones fueling this fiery hell hole we call home right now.
I have more to say
Gonna leave this exactly where it is because this encapsulates me as a person! LOLOLOL
It’s totally a privilege to know exactly how old you are because of the year, lol.
This is the first time I actually feel something. After 26 years of being on this crazy Earth. Of course, I’ve had emotions and have FELT things. But something is different now.
I don’t wake up empty anymore. Sure some days I feel more full than others, satiated. This is really just the first few steps in my growth journey
theres a whole bunch of freaking garbage in my eyeballs
